British-Indian Adult Children of Divorce: Context, Impact and Coping

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Not a member yet? Join now. The end of any marriage is stressful and this can be compounded if you are living away from your home country. There are several non-contentious routes for an amicable divorce that parties can adopt to minimize the impact. The issue that can often cause difficulty and hostility is negotiating the matrimonial finances. Both parties are entitled to request full and frank financial disclosure from each other and it is imperative that they are cooperative and fully engaged in the process.

It is particularly important where there are children involved as parties must remember that they will have to co-parent together until their youngest child is at least 18 years old, therefore a bitter financial dispute will only cause tension at handovers which the children will inevitably pick up on. As an expatriate living overseas there are usually multiple options open to you in terms of where you can get a divorce.

An interesting case in Singapore highlights the importance of carefully considering the appropriate place to divorce as an expat.


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The husband, who earned 1 million USD a year, wished to divorce in Singapore whilst the wife wished to divorce in Australia. The couple lived in Singapore as expats, and had three children. The Australian Judge determined that that it would be more advantageous for the wife to divorce in Australia, than in Singapore.

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In Australia, the court would take into account assets that accrued during the time the couple lived together before the marriage, whereas in Singapore, the court would not. The Judge also considered that Australia would award the wife litigation funding to support her during the divorce whereas this would not happen in Singapore.

This case highlights the importance for expats of taking clear and full advice, not only in the country in which they reside, but also their home country and that of their spouse. It is vital to research in detail the pros and cons of each jurisdiction open to you in order to make an informed decision on how to proceed.

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Wherever you are in the world, if both parties adopt a realistic approach and are transparent and open about their finances, divorce with dignity is certainly possible. Hero is an expat and has been living in Rio de Janeiro for over a decade. Join now Log in Email. Password Forgot password? Keep me logged in. Log in. Log in Join now. Making a marriage work is not easy especially with the additional pressure of making your expat life work. Divorce is usually the logical consequence when a marriage ends. InterNations member Hero offers advice on what to keep in mind for a divorce outside of your home country.

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It set them back financially, aggravated the loss of money already paid on property, causing a reduction in income, and a lowering in living standards. The divorce left them financially strained and cash strapped. Alex's account encapsulated this aspect:. Obviously you have to wrap up your estate and everything but now you've got to pay.

She has to move into a smaller place, you've got to move into a smaller place. You've got to pay maintenance for them, obviously half of their school fees and extra meals. It does set you back. Jeffry, Themba, Dave and Sandile spoke unequivocally about how the legal costs related to their divorces affected them financially.

Sandile encapsulated this aspect when stating:. I mean in the process of the divorce when I had to hire some lawyers. Even after the divorce was granted I had again go to court time and again for maintenance. I would argue against claims because she claim big monies and I am saying no, this I cannot afford. It was so disturbing and devastating. This trend of continued conflict following the divorce was true for Sandile and Tom, who mentioned: "The conflict I have with my ex-wife, I don't think it will ever end. I don't think she will stop having trouble with me".

For the non-custodial parent this results in feelings of longing, loneliness and feeling concerned and worried about the wellbeing of their children Friedman, This was specifically the case for Mark and Alex.

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In speaking about his relationship with his children, Alex revealed: "I miss them every day. I speak with them on the phone every day, but it's not the same. They want to see me and their mother together, so I have to protect them and keep them happy.

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Sometimes after dropping them, my ex-wife will call me and say the older one is crying for me. I have to drive back to attend the situation no matter how far I have driven. By me doing this I want to make sure that I remain connected to my children regardless of the situation. I drive 31 km to go and pick the child up and drive another 31 km back to my house.